HOMILY WEEK 30 02 – Year II
Marriage and the Kingdom of God
(Eph 5:21-33; Ps 128; Lk 13:18-21)
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It has been said that the marriage bed is comparable to an altar for a married couple.
That statement, and the readings today, present us with the message that marital commitment and achieving intimacy are key building blocks of the kingdom of God.
Jesus in the gospel is expounding on his favorite topic, the kingdom of God which he came to inaugurate here on earth. Trying to explain it to his disciples, he compares it to a mustard see and yeast. A mustard seed is one of the tiniest of all seeds, yet it grows into a bush that shelters birds. Yeast is invisible, yet leavens the whole dough.
The seed has potential for tremendous growth that belies its size, and the yeast has the potential for impacting a whole loaf of dough. Our faith in action is similar – we have the potential for personal growth ourselves, and for our actions to have a positive impact on others. Myriad small moments of kingdom love knead that love into our daily lives and create an environment where Jesus is welcome and lives.
St. Paul, in the reading to the Ephesians which is often fittingly used at weddings, explains how marriage is central to the building up of the kingdom of God. His first sentence is critical, as so often people jump to the more controversial parts about how wives should submit to their husbands. But to understand love, we need to explore this first verse: “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This one sentence provides the context for everything that follows.
The word “subordinate” often calls to mind rigid hierarchy – implying that one person is less than another. But that’s not Paul’s point at all. Paul wrote to the Philippians, “Humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his or her own interest, but also everyone for those of others.” We know how natural it is to look out for ourselves. Love means humbly choosing to place the needs and concerns of someone else above our own.
Submission is something each person does for the other; it’s not just for wives or just for husbands. Both need to be eager to serve and care for each other before looking to themselves. Even those who never marry are called to relate this way – to be willing to empty themselves on behalf of one another; to be ready to love.
Paul points out our motivation for doing this – out of reverence for Christ. We are imitating the sacrificial love of Jesus, how poured himself out for us, his beloved. He endured hardship, suffering, and even death on the cross because he considered our needs before his own. He put us ahead of his own desires, and in reverence for his sacrifice, we try to do the same. That is what love is about, and it is for everyone. In this way, married or not, we build up the kingdom of God.
But Paul then reminds us of the words of Genesis – that “a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” That, to me, means the call for them to achieve intimacy in their relationship. This is what Jesus is speaking about in John 14 when he tells his disciples if someone loves him and keeps his commandments (to love God, others, ourselves, as he loved us, and even our enemies), then he and the Father will come and make their home in that person, and reveal himself to them.
I did not understand that last line until I got involved with Worldwide Marriage Encounter and experienced so many couples focusing on improving their marriages by risking to trust and sharing their feelings with each other honestly and openly, with the goal of achieving intimacy. So, when a husband and wife trust each other totally, forgive each other everything, have no secrets at all between them – they achieve not only intimacy, they experience the Trinity – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – an eternal intimate relationship of dynamic love, in their marital relationship and through that intimacy.
I remember hearing a woman sharing at a WWME deeper weekend how she felt when she and her spouse experienced intimacy in their relationship. She said it was like there were no barriers, no walls, so separation between them, and I thought to myself, they are experiencing salvation within their relationship. I could almost see and feel the kingdom of God being built up and strengthened right there before me!
I was witnessing what St. Paul exclaims in that first reading: “This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church.” To me, that means that the more we can develop an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, especially through contemplative prayer, just soaking up his love, and perhaps sharing our feelings with him about the Word we are praying with, the more intimate relationship we will have with the Father, and the more we also are building up the kingdom of God here on earth.
So, while St. Paul focuses on married couples, this mystery applies to all of us, inviting us to grow in faith, trust, forgiveness, openness, vulnerability, forgiveness, and trying to achieve greater intimacy in our lives with God in prayer, and with each other in loving, committed friendship.
The Eucharist is an intimate foretaste of the eternal banquet we will share with the Trinity, Mary our mother and all the heavenly hosts and saints someday as the church, the bride of Christ. May our celebration empower us to grow in faith and love, live out our commitments, and achieve intimacy in our own lives with God, and the people of God placed in our lives.
