Marriage-Friendship-Commitment

HOMILY WEEK 7 05

Marriage and Friendship

(Sirach 6:5-17; Mk 10:1-12)

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The readings today speak to us of marriage and friendship and the connection between the two. In so doing, they invite us to strive to be faithful friends to the Lord and to one another.

In the Gospel, Jesus is confronted with the question of divorce, which was allowed in Moses’ time due to the hardness of the hearts of the people. Jesus raises the bar: when couples live up to the ideal of marriage, which is oneness, intimacy, unity – there can be no thought of divorce.

In fact, married couples are invited to experience the Lord in their relationship. In John 14, Jesus tells us when someone loves him and keeps his commandments (which are to love one another), then he and the Father will come and make their home in those persons, and he will reveal himself to them. They will experience the Trinity that is family, oneness, unity, intimacy, relationship.

At a marriage encounter training weekend in Toronto, a lady, answering the question, “How does achieving intimacy with her husband make her feel?” said it was like there were no boundaries, walls or barriers between them. She was experiencing salvation in her relationship. Simply put, husbands and wives should be each other’s best friends.

The late Bishop Mahoney was known for two things regarding marriage: Put People First (PPF), and the theory that for some reason the last barrier to fall between husband and wife was a spiritual one, praying together.

Wesley, former owner of Tri-City surveys, used to call his wife every night when away from home on the job. When I made the comment that this practice must be expensive, he replied simply, it was not an expense – it was an investment. He was a wise man who knew where to put his money – investing in their relationship.

Fr. Nigro, at a thirty-day retreat in Spokane, shared how the returning war veterans from Vietnam he worked with fared. Those who tried to pretend that nothing had happened in the years they were apart, all broke up. Only those who took the time to go through a process of sharing their past truthfully, in trust and forgiveness, lasted. In fact their relationship even became stronger through that experience, because of all the love as trust and forgiveness they experienced through that process.

The second reading puts the focus on friendship. There is a saying, “Friends are like diamonds, precious and rare; false friends are like autumn leaves found everywhere.” As a university student, Jack resigned as president of his college’s student union only to find that he lost all his friends overnight except one – an important lesson for him that perhaps in life we only need one or two true friends who will stand by us.

Actually, as human beings, we are all yearning for intimacy, yet at the same time, we fear it, for it means vulnerability. Each person should have at least one soul-mate in this life, one person whom he or she can trust totally. To achieve that kind of intimacy in a non-genital relationship is also to experience salvation, the Trinity, our God who is relationship and intimacy.

To belong to a religious congregation is to be invited into friendship in the Lord – to be professionals in relationship building, achieving unity, and helping others in that area. For some, the medicine wheel is a useful tool – sharing with trusted others how we are doing physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The oneness that is achieved in so doing is a foretaste of the reign of God, with love that is manifest as trust and acceptance.

A friend sent me the following reflection on friendship, written by Sr. Melannie Svoboda, which ties in with today’s first reading:

Sirach is right, absolutely right.  A FAITHFUL FRIEND IS A “STURDY SHELTER.”

A FAITHFUL FRIEND IS A “LIFE-SAVING REMEDY.”

A faithful friend is “beyond price.”  And so:

I CALL YOU FRIEND.  For you are home to me.  Within the shelter of your company, I safely lay my burdens down.

I CALL YOU FRIEND.  For you are healing for me.  You listen to all I have to say and, in so doing.  I am made whole.

I CALL YOU FRIEND.  For you are a priceless gift for me, one I do not earn.  But one I receive anew each day with wonder, joy, and gratitude.

I CALL YOU FRIEND. For without you I would not be me.  With you, I am more of who I want to be.

I CALL YOU FRIEND. In part, we are alike, sharing deep values we seldom have to articulate.  In part, we are different.  Our differences mark our uniqueness, broaden our perspective, spur our growth, and at times, hone our patience.

I CALL YOU FRIEND.  For you encourage me not merely by your words, but by your example of your own strivings, questionings, and yearnings. You are my cheerleader, rousing me to stay in the Game of Life. You are my ground control, confirming where I am and where I am heading.

GOD ENTERS OUR LIVES IN COUNTLESS CREATIVE WAYS.  ONE WAY FOR ME, MY FRIEND, IS YOU!

The Eucharist is an intimate meal with our God, who shares who he is with us in God’s Word, who calls us friends, and who shares table fellowship with us.

May we be empowered by this celebration to deepen our friendship with God, with others, with ourselves and with all of God’s creation.