Doing God’s will-St Cyril of Alexandria

HOMILY WEEK 12 04

The Worst Kind of Treason

Optional Memorial: St. Cyril of Alexandria

(Gen 16:1-16; Ps 106; Mt 7:21-29)

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“The last act is the greatest treason. To do the right deed for the wrong reason.”

That quote, by T.S. Eliot in Murder in the Cathedral, invites us to evaluate our actions more closely to see if we truly are doing God’s will (the right deed) or if we are just following our own desires (the wrong reason).

My first assignment as a young Oblate priest, to my surprise and delight, was not to a specific ministry, but a transfer to the Province of Keewatin. On an impulse, I called the provincial of that province to ask if I could first learn Cree. He suggested I go to Beauval in northern Saskatchewan to study under the pastor, a veteran Cree-speaking missionary. That plan did not materialize as this pastor opted to move to another remote community within three weeks, leaving me suddenly in charge of the mission.

My response was to kick into high gear, driven by my unconscious workaholism, Messiah complex, and Mr. Fix-it style of ministry. I initiated all kinds of programs (youth group, Christopher Leadership Course, involvement with A.A., parish council, parish ladies, and developing catechetical programs in two schools) – all valuable ministry. However, after a year, I felt burnt-out, frustrated, and like quitting the priesthood as nothing seemed to be changing.

Looking back now, I am convinced the Holy Spirit intervened, when Sr. Simard sgm gave me a small pamphlet that opened my eyes to my own inner reality. The author discovered that Christianity was not easy, nor was it hard (with which I could identify) – it was impossible. Suddenly, it all became clear – I was doing all the right things – much needed ministry, but for the wrong reason – my own glory and reputation. I was not really doing God’s will – I was doing my will in God’s name. I was living the words of T. S Eliot, and committing treason – doing the right thing for the wrong reason. I jogged out into the bush, prayed before a pine tree, and surrendered my will to God’s, finally accepting that these were his people, not mine, and this was God’s church, not mine. A huge load was lifted off my shoulders, and I experienced a profound healing and a deep peace, for which I could only be grateful.

In today’s gospel, Jesus is clear that doing God’s will, not our own, is the criteria for entering the kingdom of God. I took a huge step into the kingdom of God that day through that prayer of surrender. Jesus continues to invite us to build our lives on rock, not on sand. That rock is now God’s will for me, while the sand would be my own plans and desires, apart from God’s will. Discerning what is really God’s will for me is paramount in my life. I was helped to do that by my former spiritual director, Sr. Frances McDougall, who suggested I pray with my schedule, and ask myself this question for each item – is it God’s will or just my own desire? That simple suggestion has made a great difference for me, and I continue to do that.

Step Eleven of the 12 Step program has also been helpful: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God, seeking only the knowledge of God’s will for me and the power to carry it out.” Truly, all we need to pray for is what is God’s will for us and the ability to carry out that will, whatever it is.

I think it is safe to say that living the Beatitudes (being poor in spirit, gentle, empathic, merciful, a peace-maker, striving for justice, and accepting suffering), and keeping the commandments Jesus gave us (loving God with our whole being, loving others as we love ourselves, loving one another as Jesus has loved us, and above all, loving our enemies by forgiving and blessing them) has to clearly be God’s will for us.

Being able to say “no” to some demands, and putting priorities into our lives can also be helpful. Building our lives on rock brings to mind an exercise demonstrated for us during a World-Wide Marriage Encounter Leadership Through Relationshipsession recently. The facilitator demonstrated how to put a small pail of sand and a number of rocks into a large jug. When he poured the sand in first, he could only put in half the rocks. But when he put all the rocks in first, and poured the sand over them, the sand trickled down in between the rocks, and he had no problem getting all the rocks and sand into the jug.

So, when I “pray with my schedule” and put the “big rocks” into place first of all (things such as a holy hour, a monthly retreat or poustinia, divine office, Eucharist, rosary, day’s off, holiday time, community meetings, annual retreat, spiritual reading, etc.), all the rest that happens becomes “sand” that can possibly find a space or not. I must admit this was a liberating experience for me, and a lesson I want to continually out into practice.

Today, the church honors St. Cyril of Alexandria, who spent his life doing God’s will. Cyril was a patriarch of the Eastern Church and a Greek theologian. In 412, he succeeded his uncle as archbishop of Alexandria and used his power and wealth to champion his cause – the defence of the doctrines of the Church. At the Council of Ephesus in 431 in great Christological controversy against Nestorius, Cyril held that the relationship between the divine and human in Christ was so closely united that the Virgin was actually Theotokos(Mother of God). This controversy engaged Cyril until his death in 444. In 1882, he was declared a doctor of the Church.

The Eucharist is one of the big rocks that I try to celebrate every day. It is what sustains me and keeps me grounded in my relationship with God, as does contemplative prayer. It also mandates me to live out the Eucharist, not according to my own ideas and plans, but always to focus on what is God’s will for me that day.

So hopefully, for me there will be no more incidents of treason – of doing all the right things for the wrong reasons. There will be only a genuine living out of Step Eleven – seeking only the knowledge of God’s will for me and the power to carry it out.